We moved to Lakeland, Florida in 1992. We lived in a mobile home on Cherry Tree Drive. My father had his own lawn care service with my grandfather and my mother worked at the Publix in the Deli. Me and my brother went to Medulla Elementary School and we had great friends. I remember riding bikes around the neighborhood and playing with my best friend Becky Lambert and her sister Vanessa. I also remember getting into trouble with them as well. One instance sticks in mind really well. It was a school morning And me and Brandon went to Becky's house to wait till its time to go to the bus stop. We all went to the bus stop right up the road and waited for the bus. I had this crazy idea that I wanted to try to start smoking and please keep in mind that I was in the 4th grade. I got a piece of paper out of my backpack and I picked up some grass from the ground and I rolled it up and tried smoking it lol. My father drove by and saw me and pulled over. I of course went over to him and when he asked what we are up to I lied and thought I got away with it till I got home and he grounded me for two weeks. I started getting into fights, I was always defending my brother and my family. My first fight was in 6th grade. We were at the bus stop and my brother was across the street with his "friends" and they were arguing about something so I went over there to see what was going on. Brandon told me that his friend told him that my mother was fat and that she was so fat she should be Santa Clause at the mall. I know it sounds so juvenile and you are right it is but at that time I saw red and I ended up punching him right in the stomach and then I turned around and me and Brandon walked across the street to wait for the bus. When I got to school and was half way through the day I got called into the councilors office where I had to apologize to the boy and was told that since my class trip was just around the corner that I wasn't going to get in to any trouble at all but that i should have been expelled or at least suspended. They were right. I should have gotten into trouble and that not giving me the punishment that I deserved made me think I could get away with anything. We were riding the bus home one day from school and there was a girl who was picking on Brandon and it made me real mad and when the bus stopped at our stop and as I was walking by her to get off I punched her in her head and then walked off. My father got a phone call from the girls father and was told that they were thinking of pressing charges and suing my father. I was in trouble with my parents but nothing ever went any further about the situation. I started going down a very dark path with lying and sneaking around. I was always boy crazy for as long as I could remember. In kindergarten I had two boyfriends. In third grade I was always trying to get boys to notice me and from then on I was always trying to get boys to notice me. I was in the ninth grade and I was at my friend Lori's house, she lived in my neighborhood, and i was spending the night. We were in her pool and there was a boy riding his bike around her street and we were flirting with him. He was really cute and I was really wanting him to come over and talk to me and Lori knew this so she went over to him and told him to come over late at night and showed him where her window was. I was so excited that he was coming over and that he was interested in one of us. So it was night time and we here a tap on the window and it was him. She let him in through the window and we introduced ourselves. He told me his name was Sean Evans and he lived about 30 minutes away. We started playing truth and dare and all that consisted of was kissing. Lori left the room and Sean and I continued kissing and then he gave me his number and he left. From then on he was my boyfriend. He wasn't going to school at the time but started going when we started dating. ( to be continued )( continued... sorry so late, been busy) I am going to back track a little and get on a different subject. My Aunt Angela came down from Oklahoma to visit and I was in eighth grade at the time. My aunt and I never had the best of relationships. We fought like cats and dogs and it was mostly about stupid stuff. I remember one time she was going to a Collective Soul concert and I told her to get me a poster while she was there and she said OK. When she got back she gave me some stickers and told me that I wasn't allowed to take them to school.. me being who I am I put them on one of my binders and thought that would be OK. Well, I guess I was wrong cause when she noticed them on my binder a few days later she went ballistic and tore them off my binder and said that I didn't deserve them at all if I couldn't listen. I was like whatever. My aunt loved to cause trouble. I remember my mom and dad fighting one day and my mom saying that she was leaving and told me that I was going with her and then my aunt saying he isn't your real dad anyways so why would you want to stay with him.. I ran to my room and into my closet and just cried. My father came in to check on me and talked to me and told me the truth about everything. That day I was told that my real dad left my mother when he found out that I was conceived and went to his other family and never tried to contact me at all. I was torn up and to me it explained allot about my fathers and mine relationship. I always felt a little left out when it came to my father like he didn't really want a girl so i found myself being a tom boy to get his attention but that always got me into trouble cause I was the wrong kind of tom boy. I never really fit in with my dad and that just made me realizing why that is. After finding out that the man who raised me all my life wasnt my biological father. I was devastated and I became depressed and withdrawn from my parents and I really didnt want to be me at that pont in my life. I became a cutter and would cut my legs and arms with anything that I could find at that moment when I felt like I needed to feel something other than the feeling of emptiness I was feeling at that time. Sean and I had broken up and I became very sexually active looking for that love i didnt feel at the time from my parents. My mother was always busy with her new boyfriend and I milked all that I could and did anything that I wanted cause she wasnt interested in me.. Mom had gotten pregnant with my lil brother and like DEJA VU, her boyfriend went back to his family. Mom always had a hard time with relationships and like me took things way too far in trying to get attention. The one time that I go away on a youth group ski trip she decided that she was going to take her life. She took a hand full of pills and then called her boyfriend to tell him good bye. Needless to say the paramedics were called and she was taken to the hospital and everything was fine. she was out when I got back from my trip and we moved to Oklahoma. I hated moving cause I had all my friends and I had to leave Sean, yes we were back together at the time. I had a hard time fitting in a small town in Oklahoma. I did soon make friends and even got a new boyfriend and things were going great. One day mom had a dr, appointent and I went with her. We were in the waiting area when her water broke, I thought she had peed herself. She was flown to Oklahoma city and I was taken there by one of my aunts and uncle. I was there when Sean was born on October 18th, 1998. I never left my mothers sight after that. It was almost like I was responisible for hers and seans care from then on . I was the one who got up for the feedings and changing of the diapers. I was there so much that I must have been getting on my mothers nerves cause I was forced to go to the Winter Ball. I did have fun but I didnt want to be there. I was informed that we were moving back to Florida and I was again devestated. I had to break up with my boyfriend Ricky and say goodbye to all my new friends. But I was also happy to be going back to all my old friends as well. Me and mom moved into a house on Paterson in Florida. I kinda liked it there, Our neighbor was a hottie. Too old for me but that didnt mean that I couldnt flirt some lol.
